We have officially arrived at the very last post of The HAPPY Series. It’s been almost two months since I wrote the introductory post for this series and it seems like we’ve covered a lot. In case you haven’t seen the previous posts, I figured I’d make it nice and simple by putting links to the first posts in here so you can easily find them all.
Here are the links to The HAPPY Series posts:
There’s no reason to read these posts in any particular order (other than the fact that they spell HAPPY), so feel free to keep reading this post and then go back to the others if you missed any.
In today’s post I want to talk about the last step in finding happiness, and that is realizing that You Are Enough. I know that may sound over simplified and in some ways it is a very simple concept. But this is one of those things where it’s easier said than done. You could easily walk around telling yourself, “I am enough” day in and day out, but unless you truly believe it, that won’t do you much good.
What Keeps Us From Believing We’re Good Enough?
The tricky part about believing that you are enough is that we all have an inner critic that is constantly telling us the opposite. Have you ever heard that small voice of doubt that tells you that you can’t do something you’re about to try or warns you that you might fail at something so you might as well not try at all? That’s your inner critic speaking and it can be the biggest reason why we don’t actually believe we’re good enough.
Another reason we doubt ourselves so much is when we compare our lives to those of people around us. Especially in this day of social media and selfies, it seems like everyone is trying to present a pretty picture of what their life looks like. And in reality, life isn’t quite so glamorous.
Have you ever heard of someone sharing their “highlight reel”? It pretty much means that most of us tend to share the good stuff from our lives and then gloss over the not-so-good stuff. There’s nothing wrong with that, at all, but it can make us question our own lives when we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.
How Can I Work On Believing I’m Enough?
I wish there was an easy answer to this question. There’s not a magic pill or secret trick I can tell you about that will fix this overnight. The biggest solution to not believing in yourself is to work on your self-love. It sounds a little cliché, but it is the main way that you can start to feel better about who you are and what you’re doing with your life.
A lot of people, women especially, sometimes think that working on self-love is selfish and that it takes away from the other people in their life. But in reality, it’s the exact opposite. There’s a saying that talks about filling your own cup first so that you can help others with the overflow. That’s exactly what self-love is all about. In order to give your best self to the people in your life, you need to make sure you’ve taken care of yourself first.
How Do I Focus on Self-Love?
There are a million ways that we as women can start implementing self-love into our lives. The main point of this work is to really do what makes you feel good. The minute your self-love journey starts to feel like a chore or work, that’s when it stops being effective. Try not to tell yourself that you “should” work on your self-love, but rather do it because it feels good and makes you happier in general.
What Are Some Examples of Self-Love?
Do me a favor and take a moment to think of something that you absolutely love to do. It can be anything from reading an old favorite book with a cup of tea or sitting around with girlfriends talking and laughing over a glass of wine. When you think of your favorite thing, you will probably feel something inside of yourself that reminds of you of happiness and comfort. You might feel excited or it might make you ultra-relaxed. Whatever your “thing” makes you feel, that’s the feeling we’re going for when we try to come up with ways to focus on self-love. The main goal is to feel good, so start brainstorming things that make you feel that way.
And please know that self-love activities don’t have to be picture perfect. If you love chilling on your couch in your pajamas with pimple cream on and your hair in a messy bun, that’s totally fine. If you love the feeling of getting hot and sweaty at the gym, then go for it! There’s no right or wrong answer to what self-love looks like. We’re all different and we all have our likes and dislikes, so just do what makes you feel good.
Should I Be Alone When I Do This?
This is a tough question to answer because it really depends on whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. If you feel extra alive and supercharged when you’re around people, then you might want to think of activities that you can do with others. But if being around people can tend to drain you of your energy or take away from the good vibes you’re trying to build, then you might prefer doing solo activities. It’s really up to you. Like I’ve said already, do what feels good to you and you can’t really go wrong. Right?
How Often Can I Focus on Self-Love?
I’ll keep this super short and simple. You can never do TOO much self-love work, so try to do it as much as possible. The more you work on this, the faster you’ll see results.
When Will I Feel Like I’m Enough?
Okay, so we’ve spent some time brainstorming ideas on how to work on building your self-love muscles and you should have some ideas on what things you can do to feel good. The next logical question is probably wondering how long it will take for this work to kick in and start making you believe in yourself and feel “enough”.
Unfortunately, there’s no simple answer to that question. My best advice is to look at every step forward as a win and pat yourself on the back as much as possible. When you take note of every single thing you’re doing to work on your self-love, you are bound to start noticing a difference. And the best thing about these changes is that they tend to work like a snowball effect, so one small win can gain momentum and keep gaining speed until it feels like a huge success. So keep giving yourself credit for the incredible work you’re doing and don’t forget to be proud of yourself along the way.
Simple, right? Now go do some self-loving :-)
And that’s it! The end of The HAPPY Series has arrived. I have to admit that I’m kind of sad it’s over. This all started as a result of the positive reaction I received after sharing my story of hitting rock bottom and I have to say that I’m super happy I spent this time focusing on happiness. I truly hope that this post and the entire series has been helpful in some way to you! And as always, please feel free to share this post with anyone who you think could benefit from reading this.
And, of course, stay tuned for future posts on this blog! The best way to stay up to date on what I’m sharing is to sign up for my email list. By signing up you will also receive access to my FREE Resource Library, which includes all kinds of goodies that can help you work on mindfulness, happiness, and so much more.
There’s so much more good stuff in store for you, so stay tuned for my next post!
Until then, sending all the light & love your way,
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