What Is Balance & How Do I Find It?

What Is Balance?.png
Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender.
— Danielle Orner
Some nights you drink tea, some nights you drink whiskey.
— Atticus

A lot of people talk about finding balance or promote the idea of living a balanced life, but what does balance actually mean?  Is it the same for everyone?  And how do you get it?  

Sometimes we can get so lost in the process of trying to find balance that we don’t really stop and think about why it matters.  Today I’m going to talk about different ways to determine what balance looks like for you and then we’ll dive into some ways to go about finding it.

What is life balance, anyway?

One of the biggest problems with life balance is that it doesn’t look the same for everyone.  We all have different priorities and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to balancing out your life.  Some women are struggling to balance their families and their careers.  Other women have to find a balance between helping others and working on themselves.  Or maybe your life is super complicated right now and you have a million things pulling you into a million different directions. We're all fighting our own battles, day by day.

The other problem with the idea of life balance is that it can lead to feeling like you need to be perfect.  Even the phrase makes it sound like you have to find the exact point in your life where everything is balanced evenly and doesn’t tip too far in any one direction. 

As a recovering perfectionist, I am 100% guilty of feeling like my life needs to look perfect before I’m “allowed” to be happy.  It’s taken a lot of time, but I have finally realized that there is no such thing as perfection.  If you can let go of trying to hit some unattainable, picture perfect life, you will be much happier.  Trust me!

Having balance means realizing you don’t have to have it all.  Living a balanced life means that you are happy despite the things that aren’t going well.  It feels so much better to just accept where you are at instead of constantly setting goals for a happier future.  Just be happy right now!

What does balance look like?

Like I said before, balance can look different for everyone.  There is no right or wrong approach to living a life that feels more balanced.  Here are a few ways you can try to even things out a little bit:

Less striving for perfection, more acceptance of what is.

One of the biggest ways you can enjoy a more balanced life is to stop trying to hit some “perfect” target that you’ve built in your head.  If you are basing your happiness on losing those last 10 pounds or finally getting that promotion at work, you are missing out on the life you have right now.  Stop fretting about the things that need to be “fixed”. Let yourself appreciate what you DO have and forget about the things you don’t have.

Give yourself permission to relax & enjoy the ride of life.

Along the lines of giving up your idea of a “perfect life”, you also need to top focusing so much on the future and instead just appreciate the moment you’re in right now. There’s nothing wrong with setting goals or hoping to improve your life in the future, but you can’t get so hyper-focused on the changes that you want to make that you forget to enjoy the life you’ve built so far.

Walk the fine line between control and letting go.

If you can relate to the idea of being a perfectionist or wanting things to go exactly as planned, then this last item will definitely speak to you as well.  In fact, this one might be the best example of balance that I can give you.  There’s nothing wrong with taking action and making sure things go right, but you can’t forget that there are times when the only option is to just let go.  Find some balance in your life by realizing that you can’t control every single thing in your life.

So, how do I find balance in my life?

Over the last year or so, I’ve learned some important lessons about living a more balanced life.  Here are a few of those lessons:

1. Recognize

The first thing you can do to find balance is to recognize when you feel off-kilter. Pay attention to your mood and your thoughts.  If you start to feel scattered or anxious, chances are there’s something off balance in your life.

2. Breathe

It might sound kind of 'woo woo', but the best thing you can do when you feel at odds is to just take a few deep breaths.  This will automatically give your body a sign to relax a little and it will also give you a moment to pause and gather your thoughts.

3. Let Go

Once you’ve noticed that you feel off balance and you’ve taken a few breaths, make a conscious effort to let go.  This might mean literally letting go of the issue and making the choice not to let it bother you any longer.  It might also mean giving yourself a break from the problem to clear your mind and get back into a positive mindset.

4. Be Grateful

It’s nearly impossible to be in a bad mood or feel un-centered when you are practicing gratitude.  Take a moment to mentally list a few things you are grateful for and let yourself truly appreciate those good feelings.  Even if it’s something as simple as “I woke up this morning”, anything you can be grateful for will move your focus from the negative to the positive.

Wrapping Up...

The biggest lesson of all is that the more you try to force an outcome, the more worry and stress you will have.  If you are aiming for a perfect life or spending all your time striving for a bigger and better outcome, you will lose out on the chance to appreciate what you have here and now.  Chances are your life is already pretty awesome, so look for the positives and appreciate the hell out of them!

I hope you liked this blog post and hopefully it has helped show you what balance looks like and how you can find it in your own life.

Also, feel free to share this post with someone who might enjoy this topic or wants to feel more balanced.  

Until then, sending all the light & love your way, 
Beth  ♡ 

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